


Didn't You Pay the Water Bill?!

by Soquilii9



Category: Almost Paradise (TV)
Genre: Gen, Lack of Water, Problems, Stress, Unique Solutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soquilii9/pseuds/Soquilii9
Summary: Alex Walker, a retired DEA agent, has enough to live on.  He just can't get his hands on it.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	Didn't You Pay the Water Bill?!

For the third morning in a row, Alex Walker prepped his face for a shave, making the same mistake he’d made for the two previous mornings. He failed to check the water.

He was in a foul mood. The shop hadn’t been doing very well since its opening, probably because he didn’t have a lot of capital to put into more high-end items that would sell. He’d spent quite a bit just cleaning the place up, repairing and refurbishing it for business.

Today he had to shave, dress and chase down the paymaster to see what was holding up his disability check. Odds were, the logjam was the doctor. She had an extremely anal approach to his case; she seemed to think he needed _incense_ and a special _diet_ and _meditation tapes_ and an _anxiety journal_ that she checked _weekly_ to make sure he’d done his _homework_ and a goddamn _wristband_ that did nothing but stress him out waiting for it _to go off!_ Just the other day, she as good as threatened to withhold his disability payments unless he did his goddamn homework.

_Son of a bitch!!_

So, of course - again - there was no water. Alex rolled his eyes, wiped his face with a towel - roughly, because the increating stubble was making the shaving cream cling - and threw it across the room. 

Cory had done it again. Cut off his water because he couldn’t pay his bill.

However - fate had shown him a solution.

It took food out of his mouth but he went to a hardware store and bought four big plastic buckets and a child’s wagon. Any time he went up to the resort, he blatantly filled up all four buckets with the garden hose and pulled them over the grass to the shop. Took some effort to haul them up the steep steps, but once inside he had enough water to drink, cook with, shave and bathe - sparingly - for a day or two. It was that time again.

Stress made his heart race and his hypertension worse. He got light-headed. He’d already passed out once. On the job he had nerves of steel. It was everyday life as a retired agent that was stressing him out. He should never have retired! But then... _Nah. Don't revisit all that now. You have enough on your mind._

 _I’m doing a lot of work for the police department here,_ he often thought, _although apparently they don’t think so._ _I have a unique set of skills they apparently need. Why can’t I get a paycheck out of 'em?!?_

Good question, but he knew the answer. A retired United States government agent and the local police department of the Philippines just didn’t mesh, at least on paper. All well and good that he had cleaned up one case and solved another; no paycheck would be forthcoming. At best, they’d take him to dinner or buy him a drink.

So he had a disability paycheck he couldn’t depend on to arrive on time and a gift shop that didn’t want to get off the ground.

And a landlady from Hell, whom he could see striding in her white dress with colorful sleeves, coming around the hedges.

_Oh, shit._

She’d seen him taking water. He was holding the hose in the bucket. Caught red-handed. All hell was about to break loose.

Cory didn't waste time. ‘What you do?! _What you do?!’_

‘Cory, I’ve _got_ to have some water.’

‘That not _your_ water! How much you steal? Five, ten fifteen, twenty gallon! How many time you do this?!’

‘This is the first time, I swear,’ he lied, ‘just enough to tide me over until my check comes in. It’s been held up.’

_‘Not my problem!’_

‘Are you going to let me have the water?’

‘You _pay_ me for it.’

‘How’re you gonna figure the worth of twenty gallons of water?!’

‘You give me two hundred pesos for water.’

‘Two hun - that’s _twenty bucks American_!’

‘So?’

_‘So I haven’t got either one!’_

‘Then you give water to gardener there - he can use.’

‘Aw, come on, Cory…’ Alex was prepared to drop to one knee and beg when Ernesto Alamares approached him from behind.

‘Alex, hey. Something wrong?’ he asked.

Alex ground his teeth. ‘No. Everything is A-OK.’

‘Got some interesting crime scene photos, can you look at ‘em?’

Alex looked at his feet. ‘Ernesto... it’s gonna cost ya. This time it’s gonna cost ya.’

‘How can we pay you out of a budget cost center we don’t have, Alex? You agreed to help now and then. Really, it’ll only take a minute.’

‘Well, sorry to tell ya my friend but today, my minutes come by the gallon. I’ll give you twenty minutes for twenty gallons.’

‘Gas? I didn’t know you had a car.’

‘Water, Ernesto. Water.’

Ernesto, _Silent Bob_ as Alex had nicknamed him, nonetheless possessed a sense of humor. He took in the situation with Cory standing determined and unwavering with her hand held out, Alex with three days’ worth of five o’clock shadow, and (being grateful to be upwind of) clothing that hadn’t been washed in a while - and figured it all out. He fished the required amount of Philippine money out of his pocket and placed it in Cory’s hand. 

‘Thanks, man. Lemme haul this up to the shop and I’ll be right with you.’

‘No rush, Alex. Take your time. Take a bath.’

The End


End file.
